Dvar Torah Vayishlach 5783

Genesis 32:4-36:43

Summary

Our parsha begins where Yaakov (Jacob) has been told to return home. He sends word to his brother Esav (Esau) that he is coming and seeks his favor. He tells him he has acquired herds and flocks and servants. The messengers return saying Esav knows he’s coming and is coming to meet him, along with 400 men.

So, after the tricks played on his brother in the past, Yaakov is afraid and divides his entourage into two camps. If his brother slays one, the other can escape. He prays to HaShem that night, then sent ahead a generous offering of gifts to Esav, one drove of animals after another separated by space, working into the night to cross the ford at the Jabbok. He then moved his wives and children to another camp.

He stays behind, where he wrestles with a man in the wee hours, until daybreak, seeing he cannot prevail, he touches Yaakov’s hip joint and dislocates it. He wants to go, but Yaakov will not let him leave unless this person/angel blesses him. He says he will no longer be called Yaakov, but Israel, for in wrestling and prevailing against beings human and divine. He is no longer the trickster, but the leader of a people.

Yaakov meets his brother, and they hug, together weeping as Esav meets Yaakov’s family. Yaakov insists that his brother keep the gifts he has been offered. Esav offers to escort his brother back, but Yaakov opts to stay behind and move at his own pace. He travels to Sukkoth and builds booths for his dwellings. Then he travels to a nearby city and bought some land from the sons of Hamor where he built a memorial. On this memorial he declares, “HaShem is the G_d of Israel.”

Dinah, daughter of Leah, goes out to explore the land. Shechem, son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the land sees Dinah and rapes her. He then asks his father to take her for his wife. Yaakov and the men of the tribe are filled with sorrow and anger. Meanwhile, Hamor asks permission for Dinah to marry Shechem and offers a large dowry.

Speaking for their father, Shimon and Levi say that is impossible, to give Dinah to someone uncircumcised. So, the son and father and all the men among the Hivites became circumcised. On the third day while the men are in pain and weakened, Shimon and Levi go in and kill all the men including the son who raped Dinah. They took the property and took the women and children captive. Yaakov is concerned, saying his sons have brought dishonor to them among the tribes in Canaan and he fears they will attack. He has the captives purify themselves, burying their gods beneath an oak tree.

HaShem tells Yaakov to go to Beth-El, live there and make an alter to HaShem. Yaakov does so and pours a libation upon it. HaShem again tells him his name is Israel. He then sets out, but along the way, Rachel is having difficulty giving birth to a son Ben-Oni, but Yaakov calls him Benjamin. As he is born, Rachel breathes her last. One can’t help but recall Yaakov’s statement earlier re: the gods of her father. She is buried on the road to Bethlehem. He travels on to his father’s lands in Hebron. Itzhak dies at 180 years old, and Esav moves away for the wealth between the two brothers was too great and the land could not sustain them.

Commentary:

There is so much I could comment on in this parsha. Clearly the journey to see his brother, as he wrestles with his past, not to mention an angel in which he wrestles and prevails and is renamed.

But I thought I might focus a moment on Dinah. Women in Torah barely get mentioned. Her mention as a daughter was in passing, with no explanation of her name as it was her brothers. Indeed, she’s the only daughter mentioned among the Patriarchs though surely, they did not only produce boys. Perhaps the only reason she was mentioned earlier at all was as background to the telling of her rape later.

We see she leaves camp to meet the other women in Sukkoth, when she encounters Shechem, son of the king Hamor. He is taken by her beauty, and based on the description in Torah, he rapes her. He takes her back to his home, and his father sends word to Yaakov that he is willing to offer a sizeable dowry to seal their marriage. Yaakov is angry of course, that this happened to his daughter. Yet he seems rather detached in terms of any action, leaving that to his sons.

At this point, I wonder, because Torah does not tell us. What are Dinah’s feelings? What does she think of this man who took her, sexually and then physically holds her at the king’s palace? Per Torah, the Women’s Commentary, she is already well on her way to being married, and even though she’s rescued by her brothers, she still no longer holds the status of unmarried virgin, which is important within the patriarchal culture. It also has reduced her bride price going forward should she ever marry. Even today, we hear how a father or husband feel after a rape while too often the feelings of the victim go unspoken. Dinah’s voice in this seems singularly unimportant to the storyteller. Per Rabbi Aviva Richman of Hadar, we have a clear expression of Shechem’s feelings, but not of Dinah’s. Her silence was born of the stigma attached to what had transpired, as if it were her fault. Rivka Luvitz in her Midrashim of Dinah, Durshuni Vol 1 relates the stigma resulting in silence:

“…Also, it says, ‘He lay with her and humbled her’ and it does not say ‘Dinah screamed’. Would you ever have thought that Dinah wouldn’t scream? Rather she was like a mute…because of the pain and shame she became silent and still.”

This one hit home to me. This past week, neighbors had been fighting. I’d hear the man yelling and berating her endlessly, but not a sound from her. I had suspected abuse for some time because he seemed to keep her isolated and away from others. Indeed, only the day before, I met her in our common hallway, and only a few minutes later, he was screaming at her. Anyway, on this particular day, I heard the police. She had texted her sister for help, and they had to break down two doors to get in. She had injuries sufficient to send her to the hospital. The thing is, had she only screamed just one time, I’d have called the cops in a heartbeat. But she endured it all in silence. Was that silence borne of shame? A shame sourced from years of being ignored as a woman.

We do know how the sons felt. Shimon and Levi are furious that their sister was raped by a Canaanite. But they hatch a plan. A child of Israel may not marry someone who is not circumcised. So Hamor agrees that he and all the men of the village will be circumcised. On the third day with the men healing and in pain, the brothers go and kill all the men including the rapist, then take the women and children as captives.

For the first time, Yaakov speaks up, chastising the brothers for what they have done. He fears repercussions from the other kings within Canaan. So as the leader of his people, he had to look beyond just his own feelings in the matter of possible political fallout from the actions of Shimon and Levi. He even later will curse them for that action. But did he secretly see the trickster that had been his younger self in his sons? Did that possible shame elicit the response in that moment? He must have known you can’t just walk in and take Dinah back from the king, and ordinarily the brothers would not have been able to do so, unless trickery as we saw here was deployed. Alas we will never know Yaakov’s true feelings here. I know how I would feel if some fool had done this to my daughter.

This I know. The very problems stemming from patriarchy, inequality, shame can still be found today. When I grew up, most women were stay at home moms. A woman could not get a credit card on her own. Today women work, but make less money, endure far too often man-splaining, and male privilege is still a thing. True equality remains a dream. We can celebrate the advances made to date while still working for the dream of that better world. Dinah remains that cautionary story within a time when the women of Iran are fighting for that dream in one of the world’s more patriarchal nations. May they find real success. Baruch HaShem!