Our parsha this week is about Itzhak (Isaac), Rivka (Rebecca), Esav (Esau) and Yaakov (Jacob). In the beginning of the Parsha, we see a repetition of the barren wife motif seen first with Sara, now Rivka. She prays and HaShem opens her womb. She finds herself pregnant with fraternal twins. In Biblical writing, often twins are portrayed as owning two halves of a complete personality. She feels them struggling within her womb. HaShem tells her she is carrying leaders of two nations within her. One will be mightier than the other, and the mightier shall serve the lesser.
Sure enough, she has two boys. One is red cheeked and hairy, the other follows holding onto the heel of the first. The first is named Esav. The other fair skinned boy is named Yaakov. Esav grows up a rugged outdoors man, a hunter, while Yaakov tends to stay close to home, quiet, and introspective. Itzhak seems to prefer Esav while Rivkah prefers Yaakov. One day Esav returns home from hunting, and he is famished. Yaakov is preparing a lentil stew and Esav asks for a bowl of it. Yaakov says he will, provided he surrender his birthright. This held importance in the lives of the people then, but he surrendered it anyway for a bowl of “the very red food.” We see the recurrence, from his reddish skin to the red soup, the color red. Thus, he is named Edom. It serves according to Nachmanides as a tool to justify his naming of Edom, a variant spelling of red in Hebrew. He becomes a neighboring nation, but not of the promised land, because of his shortsightedness in selling his birthright.
So back to our story, we seem to step back before the twins are conceived or born. Itzhak come on bad times (like Avraham) and go to Avimelech in Gerer. Like Avraham, out of fear, he introduces Rivka as his sister. Avimelech spots him being intimate with Rivka, summons Itzhak and demands to know why he did this. It’s again a repetition of the life of Avraham. They are granted protection. He reopens wells dug by his father and problems arise as they become more powerful, and they move to the wadi of Gerer. Another conflict and they move after their wells are filled, and finally they find a spot with no conflict. Interestingly, he renames the wells the same names his father had given them. It is almost as if he is reliving his father’s life. Also interesting to me is the fact that he is the one patriarch who does not experience a name change.
Then returning forward in time, Esav marries a Hittite woman. Neither Itzhak nor Rivka are happy about this. Our story continues when Rivkah overhears Itzhak telling Esav to kill some game and prepare it and he will offer his blessing. By this time Itzhak cannot see well, so Rivkah hatches a scheme. She has Yaakov kill a lamb, and she cooks it up and has Yaakov, dressed in Esav’s clothes and lambskin to simulate the rougher skin of Esav. He goes in pretending to be Esav, and Itzhak gives him the blessing instead. Esav arrives and is furious that his brother has stolen his blessing to lead the people. He absolutely wants to kill Yaakov. Rivkah makes plans to send him to her family for safekeeping until his brother cools down. Itzhak seems to realize this was the will of HaShem.
In the last parsha, we saw Itzhak and Ishmael together at the funeral of Avraham and one theory emerged. Another theory in another midrash is offered as well. After the binding of Itzhak, we see no interaction at all between Avraham and Itzhak. Might Itzhak have been so shaken at his near death by sacrifice that he left and joined his brother Ishmael and Hagar, staying near them until his father’s death. I know if my dad had taken me up onto a mountain to be sacrificed, narrowly escaping after heaven’s intervention and his mother having just died, well, I’d likely move on, I think. He would have remembered how his brother and Hagar had been sent away. Did he join them after this harrowing event?
As Yaakov is about to go to stay with Rivka’s brother Laban, Rivka goes to Itzhak and says Yaakov must not marry a Canaanite woman. Itzhak gives Yaakov a blessing and instructs him to find a wife from Laban’s people. Esav realizes his father does not like Canaanite women, so he goes and marries the daughter of Ishmael, Mahalath.
As I read this parsha, I wondered to myself, what a recipe for dysfunction. Each parent playing favorites for one of the two children. Sibling rivalry can be an issue regardless, but how it complicates things when parents play favorites. Goodness, I grew up with a brother, five years younger than myself. It began when he was brought home from the hospital. I wanted a sister but there he was. As a young child, he really wanted to be close to me. I remember when he might have a bad dream and come over and crawl into bed with me. The times we would fight. When once when older, I was working on a car and my brother would chime in and tell me I was doing it wrong. I would be irritated, claiming I knew what I was doing. The irony is that I had no skill whatsoever with anything mechanical while he was gifted in such matters, but I could not see that, exercising the arrogance of age and ego. I look back with deep regret for the way I often treated him. Marlowe, if you happen to read this, know I am sorry for the way I so often behaved with you as children. I think I’ve shared that before, but it bears repeating. And I am so happy for the joy you have found in life! You have love and an amazing wife and who could ask for more in this lifetime.
In our story, Esav was so angry he wanted to kill his brother. Now it is reasonable to say that Esav did not have the temperament to lead a nation. But the deception leading up to that final blessing will in future parshat bring a lot of deep soul searching. It’s a process of maturation and time to reach the point where Yaakov becomes Israel. Making amends often takes time and may require growth to fully realize it. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. May we all find our way to reconciliation and restoration in our own broken relationships.
Baruch HaShem!
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